And there she was, sitting on the bench against the wall of the old house. Her eyes looked tired, a bit of smudged makeup still glued to her skin highlighting how much she had cried over the past few days. There was an air of nothingness and strangely enough contentment. Nothing was missing. She now had a void, an empty space ready to be filled with new emotions. Sadness has departed.
Staring at her, was a myriad of colours and forms from the most amazing landscape in Achill. Her body was experiencing feelings that she could not decipher. No heavy heart nor sorrow. As the saying goes, the past was well and truly behind her. The only remnants left of late events could be noticed on her choice of words and in her right hand. There was no anxiety for the next thing. She felt the new life was prodding like a new seed trying to germinate and reach to the sky. A feeling Esther had only experienced as a child when the world was yet to unveil itself to her. A world full of colours and at times plaintive. As she grew up one feature never really changed and that at times bothered her. Esther never really knew how to deal with people and situations where a high standard of moral was not followed. When faced with these disconcerting situations silence tended to be her choice as she knew full well how vicious her prose could be.
Sometimes the outrage took the better of her, and the perpetrator of such breach of conduct was lashed a thousand times by her tongue. The merciless narrative that would become mental scars never to be forgotten. Nobody expected someone with the sweetest eyes and candid manners to be capable of such ferocious words. At times, she created some whimsical situations. Especially when kids were the target. Her notion on how to teach a good lesson or demonstrate the moral behind each act was somehow comical. Her friends were an avid audience of her tales. A glass of good wine and the stories would flow.
Esther’s vision of her future was gone in a split of a second when life shook her to the core. Losing sight of what was paramount in a relationship made her lose what she believed to be the love of her life. With that, all her life plans sank with the heavy anchor of reality dragging a convoluted net of beliefs dreams candidness towards human kind.
Through a river of tears and chosen solitude the noblest feelings from life were presented to her: compassion. Learning how to live with other people’snotion of fairness.
The evening before her departure, she cleared the house of the last pieces of memory. Paperwork, decoration and personal affairs. In a beautiful metal box, Esther put her diaries, post cards, little notes that if put in the right order narrated the beautiful love story that only existed in her soul and mind. As the papers were passing through her fingers and eyes, her heart realised he left her years ago. There were no more tears to be shed.
Next morning came quickly. Her eyes fought against the light that came through the translucent curtains. She went to the kitchen for the last time to make a cup of coffee. The smell of coffee always lifted her spirits. Esther sipped her coffee and ran her fingers once again over the metal box. It was properly sealed. Without giving a second thought, she walked to the garden and chose the most beautiful site close to a tree and buried her precious treasure. She fantasised who would find it, and she smiled for the first time in days.
As her steps brought her back to the house, she could feel she was coming back to herself.
Her train was scheduled at 11:00. Had a shower, slipped into a new beautiful white dress that accentuated her attractive body. Esther stared at the mirror for a while. Put red lipstick on matching her shoes’ colour and winked to herself. That made her laugh. An innocent laugh.
Today the train station was quite full and that unsettled Esther. She has not been around people for a while. She got into the train and in a clumsily put her suitcases away and left to look for her reserved seat.
Finally she found her window seat – 11. The seat next to her was empty. With a big sigh, she looked up and thought: Thank you, universe, I am really not in the mood to share my space with anyone. The happiness was short lived. As the train started moving, a man with sun-kissed face and a long grey fringe approached looking for seat 12 corridor. He acknowledged her. Esther nodded her head. Silence.
Whilst he stored away his backpack and to ensure there would be no conversation during the journey, Esther reached for her book and reading glasses. He finally settled in his seat also reaching to his reading weapon against people interaction. They exchanged looks. They were reading the same book.